i hate you! god dammit, i hate you so much! stop, just stop. i don’t want you to be charming in person and an asshole online.

mind games, they’re all mind games, always are. and they only work when i’m stupid enough to trust you again. you know, i’m actually a great person. i care about people and smile a lot, and considering all the crap i’ve been through in the last 5 years, i’m genuinely happy. and then there’s you, i don’t know what you do to me, but my god you bring out the very worst in me. you make me this horrible person that i hate. and i try so hard not to hate, and not to be angry with people before i go to bed but it’s like you feed off of it. and i’m wasting my time trying to fix you because you aren’t broken, you want to be this way, all cold and untrusting. but i do really like you, when you aren’t making me miserable.