the premise behind this is that you need to realize a song is a song. and yes, the lyrics are charming and it sounds like your life. but it isn’t.

you broke up with him. it wasn’t because you were being moody or because he wouldn’t let you win a fight. it was because he was a jerk. it was because he treated you like an object he owned rather than a person he loved. and we respected you for that.

now we all knew that you were going to hope he suddenly realized he was wrong and became the guy you’ve always dreamed he was. and maybe it seemed like that was happening at one point, but it didn’t.

and now you hang out in secret and whisper hushed tones to each other. and every so often he tells you how much he loves you over her. and i understand, that’s what you’ve wanted from the start. i understand it makes you feel whole. but he is messing with you. he’s messing with you and we’ve been trying to protect you as best as we could. and now he’s proposed. and i don’t care if he told you 5 minutes before that that he loves you more than her. he chose her. that is him, reaching out and telling her he doesn’t see anyone else when she’s in the room. i’m not saying your love was a sham or that he didn’t mean anything he’s ever said to you. i’m saying that boys will twist their words into what they think will make you hold on the tightest. he knows that words are enough for you and perhaps not enough for her. so she will inevitably get the better deal and “end up happily ever after” with the boy who “loves” her.

now no, i’m not a cynic. i believe that there are men and there are boys. and some men do in fact express themselves. and some men can love one woman for a very long time and say what they mean and be who they say they are. and there are also women and then there are girls. and some women have this need for perfection and want to warp a boy into their dream guy. and some women can be insane and judgmental. so everyone has their faults.

but he is not the man for you. he will push and pull you here and there until you’re so beaten and battered that you have nothing left for anyone else. and that is his hope: that you will love him forever and he never has to lose you. but you deserve better than that.

this is for you—

i hope you love someone greater than this monster.