well this is it, the very week i’ve been dreading. that very last week that may lead to the very last time i see your face. or maybe i’ve missed my chance. or maybe it’s you who has missed your’s. and i fear for my breath because perhaps i won’t be able to catch it. and i fear for your eyes because perhaps they’ve turned away from me without a proper goodbye. but i still hear you stuttering under your breath asking if i need a ride. always so nervous i’ll say no, even though i have yet to turn you down. but maybe it’s in my head, because no matter how many times i put the idea of you behind me, it sneaks back in. and it’s not just me, everyone sees this strangeness. this shyness that only happens when you’re near me.

do you know you have different smiles? there’s one when you’re about to say something then change your mind. there’s another when you think of something horrible to say and it makes me laugh. and yet another when we make up awkward stories. the fourth is when you feel uncomfortable because you think you’ve said something wrong, but it changes once you see me smile. but my favorite has to be after you say something corny… you’ll let out this awkward laugh; allow your eyes to meet mine; and then you smile, ear to ear.

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