this is messy and boring, yet that’s what makes it exciting. i get a rush from the disaster we’ve created; this collapsed tunnel of secrets. i’m waiting for some simple words to escape your lips, but they never come. i’m ready for the comfortable stage because although i get this incredible rush…. i just want to feel old with you. i don’t want to stop flushing when you end up behind me, or stop stuttering when you get too close. i don’t want to stop giggling with you or watching you do things just for my reaction, that’s not what i mean. i just want… something i can’t explain. i want all of that to stay, but i want to text you and not feel like i’m intruding. i want to stop and talk with you in the halls and not feel awkward when your friends stare. i want to acknowledge you every time i see you, even if it’s several times within a few minutes. i want to know that you show up in rooms just because you know i’ll be there, even when you act surprised..

there’s something beautiful about this, but i wonder if that’s enough..