i don’t know how to be here. i don’t know what i’m doing anymore. i don’t eat to be full. i don’t look to see. i don’t sleep to dream. and i surly don’t breathe to be alive. i was happy you know. i was that girl i’ve always wanted to be. and now… and now what? now who am i? who exactly have i become? i don’t know but i don’t recognize her. and i can’t be both her and i.