i’m just so scared to grab hold of something new that i can barely speak to you without stuttering. don’t think i avoid you on campus because i don’t like you, it’s just that i turn so red it’s embarrassing.

but this is what i want. i want a cute crush, not something overwhelming. not something that i need or think that i need. and moreover, something that i can take one step at a time.

i don’t want to be romantic with a friend or someone that was forced upon me. i want it to be a silent understanding, like a secret between the two of us. i want him to be wonderful without trying. i want him to be perfect for me even if i think he’s all wrong. and i just want him to be himself around me.

and he does that. but he’s not all i can think about. he’s not all i talk about even if i do smile when i hear his name. and that’s what i mean when i say this is what i want. this is the connection that i’m comfortable with. and he’s just something else..

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