Today was brighter than usual. I took a deep breath, applied for another job, went back to the campus to make sure everything was in order, deleted some more text messages that I held onto for too long, and decided it’s about damn time I stop holding onto some sort of nonsense that may not have even existed. You were right when you told me I am what makes me so miserable most of the time. I don’t need to pull myself down to the floor when things go wrong. I have just as much of a right to keep my head above water as the rest of the world.

Someone told me I was beautiful today. You know, those words you always seemed to dread saying. Those words that sat at the edge of your tongue like it was some horrid wrongdoing.

God is giving me an out. God is giving me a way out of my poisonous relationships because I’m not supposed to feel like a bad guy here. This was not my doing. I don’t need to die because of someone else’s mistakes.

[Side note: For those of you that read this and don’t believe in God, that’s full and well with me and should be with the rest of the world. I’m sorry that some people make it so difficult for others to believe what they wish to believe.. I don’t know, I’ve been meaning to say that lately for reasons not worth gossiping about.]

 

I live, I love, I laugh, but most of all..

I care about you.

Advertisements