I don’t miss the past.. I guess it’s just, I feel like I should. Now, that’s not saying I don’t turn around and wonder where we’ve went wrong. I do. I wonder quite often. I just don’t feel a lot of that pain. Maybe I’m numb to it?

Whatever the case, I make plans and I mope about not seeing people. But it’s only when I’m seeing them. Out of sight out of mind, you know? When they’re in front of me I think, ‘Oh I’ve obviously missed you..’ Except now of course.

Now that he’s withdrawn from me, I miss him. Anyone else wouldn’t matter, but I miss him all the damn time. Apparently everyone’s noticed something between us. Now that we’ve made a big mess of everything and we aren’t speaking, everyone is pointing out why he and I were always such a strange friendship. Now. Where were they before Halloween? Where were they when it would have meant I could have saved us. I should have known. I should have known to save us before we created a terrible mess.

I miss you. If you read this, and pick up on all the tidbits that only you know and all the secrets I’ve told you. And if you finally realize this is me talking. And that I’m talking to you, and only you. If you decide that you want to talk to me again. Just know all you have to do is show up and say so. All you have to do is see me and smile. We can fix everything, because the only thing that’s wrong is you not talking to me. I’m sorry if we did something wrong. I’m sorry if I did something. Just come back. I miss you.