New Year’s Eve was awful. Well, I guess that’s an exaggeration, but some aspects of it were just terrible. I guess when I had said I wasn’t ready to accept that everything has changed, I really meant it. My friends were terrors. These boys that I had grown up with, loved like my own family..

College has damaged them. Damaged them in the worst way I’ve ever imagined possible. The way they spoke about things that shouldn’t even be joked about.

Abortion of all things. Talking so lowly of girls they once cared for so much. Disgusting. People mess up, and things happen that people are ashamed of. But they have no right to use such slander towards anyone. Anyone. And to bring that up in front of me. I was appalled.

I think they forget I’m a woman some times. I think that they imagine me to be some sort of unchanging being. Like I can’t have friends of the same sex. Like I can’t act feminine. It’s bothersome actually. And last night I had had enough.

I think this is God’s way out. He’s helping me see that it’s okay to let go of people. That sometimes, people change and you can grow apart. That it’s okay to grow apart and not feel the same way anymore.  I feel bad, I hate to just stop being there. I feel bad because I know they do love me.

I hate to leave them alone…

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