Have you ever seen something that just screams “WHAT YOU’RE DOING IS RIGHT!”?

I’ve been spending my nights outside lately, which probably isn’t the best idea for my health seeing as I rarely dress for the weather. But my life has been catching up to me, usually I can run clear away from it, but lately… I’ve been asking questions to say the least. I don’t understand why I can never catch a break. Why it’s okay for my siblings to go off and get married and find lives but I have to stay home and take care of our mother. Why I never got the chance to be a child. Why I can seem to go get an education because they’re too busy to come home. The truth is they’re just afraid. They can’t face the life that I’ve grow accustom to.

You see, my mother stopped trying when I was about 16. Yeah, I get it. I’m supposed to be an adult by that point anyway and I was. But there is a large difference between being an adult and becoming your mother’s keeper. Because that’s what I am. It’s almost like it’s expected of me, I should be cooking and running errands and cleaning and working while having an 18 credit course load. Something isn’t right with this picture. It’s not that I’m unwilling to help, I am willing. I am trying. But I didn’t sign up to be a mother. I didn’t do something I should regret and get stuck with the consequences. Someone just decided to snap their fingers and screw me over. And lucky for her someone keeps doing it or I would be long gone by now. I used to swear I’d never come back from school, and I meant it. I didn’t miss this place when I had my freedom, I just couldn’t seem to catch enough of a break to escape.

But what I’m doing is right. Even if all this is destroying me. Even if I am tired and worn out well beyond my years. What I am doing is right. And the only reason I buy it is all because of this stupid picture I stumbled upon while researching a famous artist. It didn’t belong at all, it has no connection to any of the words I was searching in google. The title was my name, and the artist was just the name I’ve been looking.

It’s funny how the smallest thing can remind you that you’ll survive just like all the times before..

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