i want you to know that it’s you. i am not psychotic. and in my first sentence, i didn’t mean you were. what i mean to say is: this isn’t me. this problem we always have isn’t because of me. (now listen closely to my next few words) it’s about you. every time i’m about ready to move on, you freak out. i understand you need me. i get that. and you’re afraid that i may find someone better out there, because let’s be honest, i’m sure there’s someone better than you out there. i don’t doubt that at all. in fact, i’ve found quite a few of them. but no where in those last few lines did i ever say i wanted to be with them.

fact is, you treat me like shit. you treat me like shit and i still stick around. and those times that i don’t, you crawl right back to me. why? why not just treat me right? if you didn’t do these things in the first place, we wouldn’t fight.

i’m not saying it’s just you. i’m not saying i’m not a bitch. i am a bitch. i protect myself with walls that are way too high to be healthy and i won’t admit i need you. and i know that kills you. and secretly i think it’s the only thing that keeps you coming back. so i hold on to that secret for dear life. as long as you won’t miss me, i won’t need you.

but beyond that, the fact is: we survive. every single time. we somehow survive.

 

maybe that’s something we should stop doing..

 

“I called
Because
I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don’t hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you’d fought me ’til your dying day
Don’t let me get away

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