I don’t need you. I never needed you and for that I apologize, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you. I do, want you that is. I know that’s hard to grasp, because I don’t always show it. I am trying though. You’re this extraordinary man and I’m this uncomfortable woman. Sometimes I forget that I don’t look the way I used to. I forget that the girl that I once was went away years ago. And although you loved her at that time, I never understood why.

There was always something beautiful about him, this boy I should have been speaking those words to. There was something I could never quite explain to anyone else, not even him. Deep down, I didn’t want anyone else to understand it though. I wanted to hide that piece of him away somewhere so no one else could take it, so no one else would want him. So that what he was when he was with me would be just mine. I had felt like that was my right.

Now I’m older and a woman and you’re older and a man. And I don’t want to keep you to myself because you deserve to love other people. You deserve love from other people. So I let you go off and prove to everyone else the things I already knew. And you know what? They love you. I so knew they would. I’m not selfish or fearful anymore, but I am head over heels. Perhaps I’ll grow to need you, once you knock down another few feet worth of wall. Perhaps I could need you. I think deep down we both know that’s what I want, what you want.

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