I don’t think I know how to be in love. I think about it, about growing old with someone. And the idea seems quaint, beautiful even. I just can’t seem to see how to get there. I don’t know how to do a lot of things and I wish that I could. I don’t know how to cuddle with someone, or look pretty, or act sexy, or be daring and on the edge. I don’t understand how to kiss someone first, or make my heart stop racing, or initiate holding hands, or just act like a girlfriend. Everything that should be so simple for a girl is merely impossible for me, and I’m a woman. I don’t know how to become that, I’m not even sure I want to. I just know that my someone will eventually get frustrated just like all the other ones. I don’t mean to be that way, I don’t mean to seem difficult, all the time at least.

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