You meet people who change your life all the time. Sometimes they have such an impact on you that you don’t even realize the drastic change. It’s almost like a high, you’re so stoned off this breath of air; off this person forcing life back into your lungs. It’s possible to know someone for so long that you become oblivious to how much they can affect you. But the idea that you have to lose someone to realize how much they mean to you is utter bull. I’m sorry for all you believers out there, but you know what you have before you lose it. And if you don’t, you don’t deserve it. It just seems like such common sense and yet everyone is ignorant towards it.

But my dear, you have changed me. You’ll never read this, and even if you do you won’t know it’s from me. Or even about you. But it is. That black and white boy looked at me when I spilt out your name, he just nodded as if he knew of you through it all. He asked if you and I were something while he and I were something. No, we weren’t. I would never do that to him, although I feel as though he was hoping I would admit to something so cold because it was clear that they were something while he and i were something. But you and I, we’re still not something and perhaps we won’t be, but could you dream of it? Having what our parents had planned all along? We’ve always acted that way, so it wouldn’t be a leap or a jump, just a normal step with no caution involved.

“you sometimes look at me with sad puppy dog eyes, and it just makes me think, “what girl did that work on?” and laugh and kiss you and hope my butterfly distractions work to make you a little bit happier. because you make me happier. and we are both so sad, we could use it. but i promise to do my best to not be too broken, and mindful of where you are.”