Things get messy, you know? You get caught up in getting back on the horse and you just lose it. Well yeah, I completely lost it. I can’t believe I did that… with a boy I didn’t know. Okay, so before you jump the gun, it went nowhere. Really. I wouldn’t let him even kiss me. I don’t want another guy kissing me to be honest. If it’s not him, it won’t be anyone until they seem right. Because there must be another guy out there who seems right.. But he got quite far and we got quite comfortable. I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman in that one scene where Richard Gear goes “Well, what do you do?” and she replies with “Everything, but no kissing on the lips.” or something like that. Yes, it was that kind of a mess. But there were other people around and I’m not a tramp. I would not be doing things while I was surrounded. It didn’t bother him surprisingly, I mean he was content enough with me just laying on him, holding his hand. He was sweet and all, but I kept thinking he was someone else. His face in the shadows resembled my black and white boy, his body was shaped like his too, abs and all. His chest smelt of my old boy and their heartbeat was much the same. The only difference was this boy was warm whereas I was the warmth in the past relationship. So we would get close, I highly considered it several times but I drew back. I even did so much as to splash water on my face in the bathroom. I wanted it, but I wanted it for the wrong reasons. And as vicious as my wants were, I was not about to go that far out of my character. Had it not been for my black and white boy, I would have kissed him though, I don’t doubt that.

I’m sure some of you think this is all a little stupid because a kiss is a kiss these days, but to me it’s not. A kiss shouldn’t just be a kiss. There’s a reason that line was put into Pretty Woman.

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