It’s 1AM. 1AM and I wish I knew what was going on with my life. Have you ever had a thought that wouldn’t go away? Something that lingers in your head for so long that it becomes a feeling, then a pain. Well, the thought turned into a pain a few hours ago and then it turned into nervousness.

They disappear. The people that I love run off and disappear on me all the time. This one just always knows the exact time to show up again to save his ass. And just the right way to do it. What kind of boy shows up at your door out of the blue? It’s been 8 weeks since we’ve broken up. 8 weeks, 4 fights, 1 night at the movies, 1 phone conversation, billions of texts, 1 letter goodbye, and now he shows up. I told him I needed space, I was given one week. Am I over him? No, definitely not. Who shows up at someone’s house out of the blue!? In a tux nonetheless.. What kind of a boy offers his ex his tux jacket because she’s cold? Then gets upset when she offers to go in and get a jacket for herself so he’s not standing out in the cold in a t-shirt?

Oh, but let’s not forget my part. What kind of a girl gets butterflies when he says he’s outside? What kind of girl fixes her hair and her face after being in pajamas for hours? What kind of girl plays her ex the new songs she learned on guitar? The kind that isn’t over her ex, that’s the kind. Gosh, I can’t even call him that, it singes my tongue.

But riddle me this, what kind of boy is he? Who stands there and hugs their ex for 6 minutes? Why do this to me…? Why come back if we’re only to be friends?